Racism......such a powerful word. It stirs up so many feelings, raises so many questions. Is it taught or learned? Is it powered by fear or ignorance? As I child I had no idea what this word meant, I just knew how it felt to be called names and placed into stereotypes. I was confused and hurt, conflicted with the way I looked and felt. It was a hard time just being a kid, let alone dealing with racism and identity issues.
I often wonder how different my experience was compared to other adoptees. It's not always a subject we like talking about. At least I know I wasn't ready to deal with the reality of being one of the few minorities in my town. As a kid, I felt like everyone else. I grew up with the same kids for 18yrs, there was no more explaining myself, no defining who I was. I was safe, accepted and loved.
Once I left my town, and went to college it all changed. I had to redefine myself, explain to strangers why Tracy Foley wasn't a red haired, freckled, Irish girl. It was exhausting. I had spent 18yrs just being, and now I was a stranger to everyone, a stereotype, an easy target. It was a hard transition for me to make, in fact sometimes it felt like I was all alone. I had no one who could relate to what I was going through. It put me into a deep depression for a long time. I eventually pulled myself out and started to face all of the issues I was suppressing, and started to realize how liberating and amazing it felt to be honest with myself and my family and friends.
I empowered myself, to not allow other people to define me, I defined myself.....
