The Movement

I always find a common theme when it comes to adoptees.  A running thread if you will, that connects us and creates a community, that we are not always aware of.  That's what's amazing to me, when I opened my eyes, and realized how many adoptees there were around me.  Some already plugged into the community, while others, like me, were completely isolated and alone.  It baffles me how I never had another adoptee friend to talk to, relate to, express my fears and questions to.....But now I am so lucky to have that community in my life.  I guess the closer I get to camp, I am more acutely aware of how important a role that plays in my life.

The theme or thread I am talking about is identity.  Some definitely more grounded and confident than others, but always an issue.  Whether it's denial or complete acceptance, there has been a question, or confusion or complete disconnect from their friends and family.  While friends and even family make "jokes" then look at you, and say,you know what I mean....or that's no offensive right?  Or thats what you guys like, right?

Identity for an adoptee will be a natural curiosity, a struggle, an issue.  I mean to grow up in an all white family and be a different race, will naturally bring up questions for you and your friends, strangers.  So what I say is embrace it.  Know that you are not alone and that you're not crazy for thinking that, or confused, or struggling with your own identity.  Reach out and talk to other adoptees, reach out to your local communities!! With the age of FB and Twitter and Blogs, we should never feel alone again.  It's just a matter of becoming aware and reaching out.....It breaks my heart when I hear I was hopeless, or I feel ugly, kids make fun of me, bully me.....I have no one to talk to.....Let us be the movement to connect those individuals who feel isolated and alone......

So it's been a while....I am doing Holt Camps again this year, and  I know that I am definitely in a different place than I was a year ago.  I realize I have a lot more to offer, and instead of going in like a freshman, I feel more like a senior.....maybe a graduate!! Lol....I am soo excited to use what I've learned in the past year to help other adoptees, navigate through this sometimes difficult journey.

Racism

Racism......such a powerful word. It stirs up so many feelings, raises so many questions. Is it taught or learned? Is it powered by fear or ignorance? As I child I had no idea what this word meant, I just knew how it felt to be called names and placed into stereotypes. I was confused and hurt, conflicted with the way I looked and felt. It was a hard time just being a kid, let alone dealing with racism and identity issues.

 I often wonder how different my experience was compared to other adoptees. It's not always a subject we like talking about. At least I know I wasn't ready to deal with the reality of being one of the few minorities in my town. As a kid, I felt like everyone else. I grew up with the same kids for 18yrs, there was no more explaining myself, no defining who I was. I was safe, accepted and loved.

 Once I left my town, and went to college it all changed. I had to redefine myself, explain to strangers why Tracy Foley wasn't a red haired, freckled, Irish girl. It was exhausting. I had spent 18yrs just being, and now I was a stranger to everyone, a stereotype, an easy target. It was a hard transition for me to make, in fact sometimes it felt like I was all alone. I had no one who could relate to what I was going through. It put me into a deep depression for a long time. I eventually pulled myself out and started to face all of the issues I was suppressing, and started to realize how liberating and amazing it felt to be honest with myself and my family and friends.

 I empowered myself, to not allow other people to define me, I defined myself.....

Hey everyone! I'm sorry I haven't written anything lately, I've been really busy! But I promise that I will have something this weekend!! Hope everyone is doing well, and would love to hear from some of you adoptees if you get the chance!

Never Too Late to Change

About a month ago, an editor from Holt International Magazine contacted me, wondering if she could publish one of my entries from my blog.....I was overwhelmed with excitement to think that A. she was aware and reading my blog and B. wanted to publish it in their magazine.....So here it is, plus I added another article that was published a month or so ago, an interview I had with Michael Tessier, one of the directors of the summer camps!! Hope you guys enjoy it!!!
Never Too Late to Change
Why Holt Adoptee Camp is So Special….AND FUN!

My story.....

I will never make excuses about being honest with my story, because it's mine, and mine alone. I have had front row seats to my life, and hopefully I can use what I've learned so far to help others, through their struggles and issues. Yes, we might not agree with each other, yes we might have had a different experience, but we all have the right, and sometimes the responsibility to be completely honest and raw about our journey.

I will never warp, or alter my experience to make others feel safe, or comfortable, because I've had to do that too much already in my life. There is no judgement here, no sensor, no filter. Just honesty, that's all I can hope for.

I am still on my journey and it has far from ended. I will constantly be learning, changing and understanding why I feel the way I do. It's a constant ebb and flow of how great of a week I am having to trying to get through a rough day. But I know I'm not alone in feeling this way, and that gives me some comfort. When I am having a particularly hard day, I can call up one of my adoptee friends and vent, and they can listen and help me through, and that makes all the difference in the world.

I understand how hard it can be for a non adoptee to fully understand what we are going through in our lives, and I encourage parents, siblings, friends, husbands and wives to start a conversation to allow that dialogue to begin. It comes down to love, understanding and listening, and then creating a strong support system. We might not have all the answers, and ya know what, that's o.k.....

My hope....

This weekend gave me hope, but also re-emphasized an important issue. I realized that even though we are spread all around the United States, there are still concentrations of us within each state. And how amazing that would be if we could all organize a way to strengthen our local adoptee communities. Yes, FB, twitter, emails and phone calls are great ways to stay connected, but I've come to realize the significance of the actual physical act of getting together that is so powerful. It re-energizes us as individuals to be in a room full of adoptees and gives us that unsaid support and understanding that is so crucial in our lives.

I want that for all adoptees, so they don't have to grow up like I did, without the community. As young adults it's easy to get lost in college and parties and work, but I've seen what bringing adoptee's together does, and its priceless....It's a need that everyone of us should want and have. So I hope if you are an adoptee and you're reading this, think of what can you do locally that will strengthen our community. What can you do for other younger adoptee's in your community to help them feel not so alone...It's about time we started thinking of each other as a huge extended family. And as a family we support, love and listen to each other.

My hope is that the friendships we create at camp, retreats, picnics, and get togethers, will be a part of our lives forever. And from that will grow a strong adoptee community all around the world.