Its a constant battle dealing with the issue of my identity. Before this summer, I was in limbo. Raised in an all white family, in a small suburban town, I was the only adoptee. I was acutely aware of how different I was and how I didn't quite fit in with my family. I mean they never made me feel adopted, they were great at trying to assimilate me into being a Foley, but I was constantly reminded in public that I was always going to be viewed as not one of them. Whether it was strangers asking ignorant questions, or other kids pointing out," Oh those are YOUR parents?"

I guess I got use to it, so I became immune to those comments as a kid. The few Asians in my town, I'm talking about 3 other Asians, were all raised by Asian parents, raised in their culture, and again something I couldn't relate to. So it was hard for me to understand their perspectives on life. I have to admit being around other Asian as a kid made me uncomfortable. I wanted so much to be white, that I guess in my mind, being around other Asians, would make remind people that I was Asian. I know, stupid. I remember asking my dad, "Well I look more white than Asian, right?"

But the struggle I have is that so many Caucasians expect me to want to get in touch with my roots, and are almost mad or confused on why I wouldn't want to know more about my heritage. I would get upset because why do I have to investigate that part of me? Do you see the struggle, I was raised American, look Korean, but feel white. So before this summer, I had no interest in exploring my heritage. I didn't feel Korean, in fact, I hated being Asian, well hates a strong word, but had issue with being Asian. I never felt like that was an important identity I needed to examine.

But now my perspective has changed. I don't know what it is, but being around all those adoptees this summer, and hearing their stories, really changed me. It made me proud to be Korean, and for the first time, I didn't look around in a room and wish I was that pretty brunette in the corner. I had pride in who I was and that was a first. I could look in the mirror and actually like the person staring back at me.

I know after this summer, I'm not the only person that has felt this way, so I pose a question, if you've ever dealt with this inner struggle, adopted or not, how did you get to a place where you could look at yourself in the mirror and love the person staring back at you?

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