Change...

I'm always dumbfounded when people say, "They can't change, that's just how they are." I find it to be such a cop out. I believe people are always capable of change, in fact, I hope they are growing and learning and changing all the time. I believe its a choice, and some people choose not to change. For them I can only feel sympathy, because they are missing out on so much life experiences. Defining moments that alter the way we view and feel about life.

I've learned alot from this past week. I've talked to my parent's about topics I've always been afraid or not encouraged to ask. But I realized if I were to learn anything, if my parent's were to learn anything, this was the time to test that theory. My dad is an amazing man. He has always been a mentor to me. As a child, the few times I have tried to express my issues on adoption, he would listen, and always say just be proud of who you are. I guess he didn't realize I had no idea who I was, my identity was a mystery at that age. I felt I was in limbo, not really belonging to my family and not really knowing what being Asian was. I looked one way on the outside, but felt completely different on the inside.

I asked him if he ever thought about the reality of adopting a child of a different race. He said he never thought about it. I didn't understand, you never thought about it? How is that possible? Well he said he was so thankful and excited about adopting me, and becoming his daughter, nothing else mattered. From the moment I was put into his arms, I was his daughter, blood or not. I was apart of his family and that's all that mattered.

Now for a minute I stood back and thought, how ignorant. I am being raised in an all white family, a small suburban town, with little to no diversity and you wouldn't think I would have issues with that? But I have to say for the first time ever, I actually understood my dad. I got it. It was hard to hear from my perspective, but I could see for the first time, his perspective.

As an adult, I might disagree with their thinking, but I have to say, I know I was loved. I had a great childhood, and yes it was marred with ignorant incidents and racist comments, but my family always stuck by me. They could never relate, but they tried to raise me and love me the best way they knew how. So I can only be thankful, and grateful that now, after what I've learned from this summer, working with other adoptees, it's never too late to change. My dad recognizes my issues and we can for the first time have a conversations about it. I can only be thankful, that good or bad, everything that has happened to me, has helped define the person I am today.